sometimes it is the vanishing memory that poppes into your head while you're walking to your home, sometimes it is the unfinished story you suddenly had to face in the middle of the night, it is the song that plays in the background while you're in the taxi in the backseat holding hands with the frontseat, it is the death news that made you cry in the middle of the hookup & the hug you thought that was real, it is the cool lighter you kept spinning until it's broken and pretended you had it while you danced lost in the crowd, it is the confession of a friend's suicide while you just planned to have a decent coffee & laugh, the excitement of a phonecall that kept you busy all day that you couldn't even eat, the slap to your hip of your friend's girlfriend, the spatial distance, the long-term long-distance, the smoke that creates a psysical distance between bodies, the mind-body-soul triangle you got yourself so caught up, coming back and forth between the egocentric pleasure and spiritual exposure, the toast in the terrace to the essence of the insecurities and opening-ups in a three dimensional level, the flip of the coin, the satisfying feeling of laying down in a place you will never be in again, the tension of desire, 

the shitty queer movie that you don't even know why you keep watching which is super boring & doesn't really mean anything, 
but got you to write all these. 

so i'm thankful.